Tuesday, February 17, 2009

a plea

dearest turbo,

i write this to you,
to ask you

why do you do the things you do?
why do you feel the need to be so mean?

flake said you just needed time to adjust....
so i wonder
why you continue to do things that cause me to be scared of you...
and why do you do things that make me cry....
and why do you have to be so flipping mean?

you and i have been living together for 276 days
that's a lot of days little miss!
lots can happen in 276 days!
kids can go through an entire year of school....
and the state says they only have to go 180 days!
babies can go from being .... an imagination
to being held by their parents
friendships can be formed
and friendships can be broken
children can grow....a lot!
look at how big little mason is...and he's only been around like 200 days....
so why?!?!
why has it taken you 276 days....
to continue to be so mean to me
and diesel

i feel we need to set a few things straight for you....
-it is not ok to wake me up in the middle of the night
- it is not ok for you to scratch my feet....or any other part of my body....especially when i am trying to sleep
-it is not ok for you to yell your meanest yell at diesel when you are the dumb one who called her into play with you
- if you don't want to play with the dog....then why why why do you feel the need to call her...or show her where you are!
- it is not ok for you to throw up in the bed, on the floor right by the bed...or anywhere!
-i will feed you every morning, you don't have to yell at me OVER and OVER until i put food in your bowl....and....if you didn't throw up all your food, maybe you wouldn't be so hungry!
- it is not ok for you to chew on my crocs
- STOP drinking out of the toilet!
- would you please stop leaving your hair EVERYWHERE!!!!!
- it is not ok for you to get on the kitchen counters or table
- it is not fun for me....when you jump on the desk when i am trying to blog....seriously...your mama was not a glass maker!
- it is not ok for you to hiss at me, while i am in the shower....if you don't like the water....then why do you feel the need to crawl onto the tub....
- it is not ok for you to chew the blinds
- it is not ok for you to pick your claws on the bed skirt.....for hours on end
- your morning races....have got to stop involving my pillow
- it is not ok for you to rub against my leg....and then scratch or bite me
- it is not ok for you to knock things off the tables/dressers/cabinets/desk
- really, could you stop getting your hair in my toothbrush
- it is not ok when you get mad....because i move in the bed at night....and stop biting at my hands when this happens
- it is not ok that you chew my school papers....please stay out of my bag!

all i'm asking of you turbo
is that we can be friends....
you, me, diesel, and flake
we all need to be able to get along....
and i'm tired of flake making excuses for you....
you're a big girl now!
i'm sorry your mama left you,
i'm sorry someone put you in a dumpster when you were a baby...
but....the past is the past....
you live with two people and one dogsister that care about you, and want you to be happy....
however we also would like to be happy....

so could you please try your very best....
to be nice?

yours truly,


Kristen said...

LOL...great post. Lucky for me Mr. C does our taxes
I hope TURBO treats you better!

Baby Steps said...

Dear Aunt LOV,

I dearly love Turbo. One day she might even love me. When that day comes, please send her to live with me. I promise I will take very good care of her!


Mrs. Goodneedle said...

There's one fundamental problem here... can Turbo read?

Melissa said...

Cats are a very different creature aren't they? I would bet you will have to accept her ways before she would even considering changing hers. They're so persnickety.

Tips for human:

-automatic feeder: It was the best thing I ever found. I have to put it on a window ledge b/c the dog will get into it.

-the vomitting, might be a food allergy or hairballs. I changed Chloe to science diet and she very rarely throws up.

-waterbottle: Whenever you see Miss Turbo doing an unacceptable behavior, squirt her with it. The nail clawwing, popping/hissing at the dog, hissing at you, on the table/counters...it will stop.

It seems aggressive, but I prefer assertive. They have to know you're boss-lady now! If your Flake gets upset, tell him I specialize in cat behavior modification, and I came highly recommended:)

Randi Troxell said...

oooooooh luv.... you had me laughin soooo hard! only ppl with cats could seriously understand this post! this is like the funniest thing EVER!! when hubby and i 1st got married i brought cleo into the marriage (the black cat on my blog) and hubby would try to touch me on my boobs, arms... whatever.. and cleo would bite him everytime! wonderful post... and you pegged a cat like no other!

kel said...

Dogs can be such pains! Lovable pains, but pains nonetheless.

Anonymous said...

^^ Read much?

the RaMbLeR said...

hehe...yea, what she said Turbo!

I have found most cats to be a tad bit snotty (once they are no longer a kitten).

My doggie is always very loving and well behaved. ;)

lov said...

i wish my turbo was only hanging around during tax season...

....turbo loves you, she really does, she would love to come visit you, and live with you, i asked her...i told her meow or hiss or look at me like you hate me... if you wanna live with riley....and she did...so do you want me to pack her stuff?

mrs. g-
you know how crafty that cat is!

-automatic feeder...ive been told she had to have her food regulated because she was getting over weight
-she could possibly have food allergies...i wouldn't put it past her....just last year...she had to have her food completely changed because she was allergic to her tooth enamel which was some sort of result from the food she was eating, and had to have all her back teeth removed...as you can imagine...that made flake way way happy….right now she eats science diet
-water bottle…..you know I think that would work, however I’m a little too scared of her to try it, maybe I’ll let flake do that!
-flake would probably always listen to you, because you willingly participated in voting him most changed at our high school reunion :)

randi….i’m still so very sad for you and your cleo….you want turbo???

kel….did you think turbo was a dog….or were you just saying? cause yeah, dogs can be pains too….just ask diesel!

annon....why didn't you just say hi...this is flake

rambler...why do you think it is that cats are such snobs???